Off The Menu: Woman Eating a BLT at a Diner With Her Daughter

Why did you order beets? You know you’re not going to eat them. See? What are you doing, making designs on the place mat? Put the beet back in the dish for god’s sake. Are you just doing this to irritate me? Like with the oatmeal this morning? And don’t give me that look. I am so tired of your looks. Use words why don’t you?  Get it out. Keep it bottled up inside you your insides are going to look like that beet juice.

I don’t get you. I’m not the one who needed this conference. If you’re going to be mad at anyone, be mad at your father. Daddy Do No Wrong. It was his idea. And of course he’s late. I’ve got a 1:30 back at the office, had to pick you up from school. I take any more time away from the office… Why are you wearing your cheerleader uniform now? Don’t you have time to change when you get back? Aren’t you supposed to be in history this afternoon or something, learning something?

God, they always put too much mayonnaise on these things. And the bacon is always too crisp. Can’t anybody do anything right any more?

Please don’t pick up your phone. Just don’t. I swear I will take it away and you’ll never see a phone again until you leave for college, bless the day when that miracle happens. And don’t put it in your lap and then think I don’t know that you’re texting Susan, all right Stephanie, whoever. You and your so-called friends. If I changed my hair as often as you change friends…

All right, don’t eat anything. Do I care? Starve yourself if you want to. Better for everyone, save on the groceries, save me from making dinner every night.

Put on your jacket, then, and let’s get out of here. Your father can just catch up. That school and their schedule. We’ll be late for the conference if we wait any longer. They never do anything right at that school. And don’t you look at me with that look of yours. You are in big trouble, and the sooner you realize it the better. And don’t think your father’s going to talk me out of it. Not this time, no sir.

Where’s the waitress? Why can’t people just do their little jobs. I swear…